Today is Yom Kippur. Yom Kippur means "Day of Atonement," and that pretty much explains what this day is. It is a day set aside to atone for the sins of the past year. For me it is a day when I am finally allowing myself to reflect on this past year and all that has happened and to wonder exactly what sins I have to atone for that bring me to this Yom Kippur. Because all I am really feeling is sadness and grief and loss. And frankly a whole lot of anger.
This picture is me and my brother Brian back in May 2008. It was, if I recall, the day that Meredith graduated from medical school at Nova. It was certainly a happy time. Before we lost Dad, before we lost Brian, before my professional world turned upside down. Before my personal world turned right side up and then upside down. Elliott was about to graduate from high school. Yes it was a happy time. And if my memory serves me correctly I didn't appreciate how much happiness I took for granted back in 2008. Maybe that is the sin I am finally having to atone for.
Now, 6+ years later I find myself wondering exactly how I move on from this past year or two. As I write this I realize that I don't know the answer but that I have to figure it out.
I read a New Year's greeting on some random person's Facebook page "may the best of this past year be the worst of your next year" or words to that effect.
Hope that is true and as I atone for what ever sin or sins, real or imagined, that I may have committed over these past years, I do wish that will be enough to make this coming year a little better.
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